Sibling Adjustment: Supporting Your Older Child When Baby Arrives

Welcoming a new baby is such an exciting time, but it can also be a bit tough for older kids. Suddenly, everything changes—routines shift, you’re spread a little thinner, and emotions can really spike. It’s crucial to help your older child navigate this new chapter, as it can help strengthen their bond with the new sibling and keep their feelings of security intact.

Understanding Common Reactions

Older children can exhibit any number of feelings when a sibling is born:

• Jealousy or possessiveness regarding parental attention
• Regression in behavior, such as bedwetting or clinging
• Confusion or apprehension regarding their place in the family
• Excitement and interest in the baby

Identifying these responses as normal allows parents to respond more with empathy and less with frustration.

Ways to Support Your Older Child

1. Get Ready Ahead of Time: Use language that is right for your older child to talk to them about the new baby.  Read books about becoming a sibling. Let them help you get the nursery ready or pick out baby things.
2. Stick to your routines: Keeping up with familiar routines like meals, bedtime rituals, and playtime can help you feel stable during a time of change.  Children feel safe and less anxious when they have regular routines.
3. One-on-One Time: Schedule one-on-one time with your older child daily, even if it is 10–15 minutes. Spend time doing activities they love to remind them that they are loved and important.
4. Involve Them in Baby Care: Small jobs such as bringing diapers, singing to baby, or assisting with bath time make older children feel responsible and included. Offer plenty of positive reinforcement to build pride and confidence.
5. Validate Feelings: Encourage your older child to talk about their emotions openly. Reassure them that it’s completely okay to feel jealous, sad, or even confused. Let them know your love for them hasn’t changed at all.
6. Encourage Positive Bonding: Promote gentle interactions and shared playtime between the siblings. Celebrate those moments when they connect or work together to strengthen their relationship.

Encouraging your elder child during the birth of a new sibling demands patience, empathy, and positive strategies. With equal attention, recognition, and participation, elder children can adapt well and develop a long-lasting, healthy relationship with their new sibling.